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Selling On the Approval of Others

Whether you're purchasing a home, a car or a piece of clothing, there's a thought that crosses your mind:  What will others think of this?

That voice is our ego, our pride. It fills us with doubt and makes us anxious. Why? Because we crave the approval of others. We'll say we don't care, but we do. And if you're a seller, you can use this to your advantage.

A good example is a realtor showing a home with a large patio. "This would be great for entertaining!" they may say, watching you as you consider your friends attending a cookout in your backyard and complimenting you.

Do you remember when you bought your first car? What did you do? You drove over to a friend's place to "show it off". And everyone told you how nice it was. But more than you wanting them to like your new vehicle, you wanted them to approve your decision, or I should say, your decision making ability.  And that is the secret sauce!



Peer pressure can steer us to make all kinds of decisions, like where to eat or what kinds of music we enjoy. Instead of our peers pressuring us, we also have modern day "influencers", who have set styles and trends on social media. If you want to see evidence of how influencers can work horribly, check out the movie "Fyre Fraud".

When you take the above examples and combine them with all of the advertisements we're exposed to on a daily basis, it's hard not to sold something. And all of it are ways to sell on the approval of others, which is possibly one of the most under utilized and effective ways to sell.

Even though I gave some good examples of this in my book, I'd like to give you a couple more.


  1.  Amazon uses the "people who bought this also purchased this" technique. We don't know who these people are, but it's implied that you and them have the same taste. Vague, but it generally works.
  2. I used to have a manager who was pretty cool, but he wasn't a fan of some of my ideas. When I would devise some new way of sales calls, he would say something like, "I don't know if that will work. Let's just stick to the gameplan we have." My response would be that it had been tested and was successful. I was lying, but selling on the approval of others, who didn't exist. "Oh, if that's the case, then sure."


See how you can use this at work, in sales, or your everyday life. And if you have any ideas, put them in the comment section below.

Chris Castanes is a professional speaker who helps sales people succeed through workshops and humorous presentations. For booking information, click here. He's also the president of Surf Financial Brokers selling life and disability insurance in several states

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