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Selling Amid Guns and Whiskey (Dumb Story)

Last week I ran into an old colleague of mine whom I worked with back in the 1980's (yes, I'm that old). "Frank" and I talked about our brief stint selling accident plans in rural North Carolina and how much we hated the job. We got caught up on each other's personal lives. He had been married, gotten a divorce, has a couple of kids and so on. I mentioned that I had gotten out of the insurance business, went into retail and gotten back into the insurance business against my better judgement. 

I also mentioned that I had been doing some speaking and blogging and how people seemed to enjoy the stories from those good old days. He asked me, "Do you remember that time we had to work on a Saturday and met those hunters on the side of the road?"

Immediately I laughed. Yes, I did remember that horrible day in the fall of 1985. Our manager, a gruff man with a gin blossom for a nose, blew up at the entire sales crew one Friday because our numbers were low. "Weak" was actually the word he used. And the result was that we were going to have to work on Saturday to catch up. 

For those who haven't done it, making sales calls in the middle of nowhere on a Saturday is just painful. We didn't want to work and the potential customers we called on didn't want to see us either. For some reason, still unknown to this day, Frank and I decided to ride together, as misery loves company.

He claimed to know some people we could call on and we rode down some country roads that morning, hoping we could sell a few policies and get back to town to enjoy some college football games. On the side of a road we saw a pickup truck parked and a couple of guys dressed in camouflage. Deer season was upon us and these guys were doing their part to thin the herd. 

"Let's talk to them," Frank said as he pulled off of the road and parked near the truck. 

The doors to the truck were open and we could clearly see a half-gallon of Jack Daniels and some bottles of sodas. The hunters smiled at us as we got out of the car wearing coats and neckties. "Good morning, fellas," one said. "I know you aren't here to hunt with us, are you?" 

"No sir," Frank said. "We were in the area showing people this excellent accident plan and thought that you guys might be interested, no obligation of course."

They looked us up and down like we were crazy people. "Only if you have a drink with us," one insisted. He must have thought that offering us a glass of whiskey at 10:30 in the morning would scare us off and he was definitely wrong.

Over the course of the next hour or so, we drank whiskey and listened to the hunters tell us about a business plan they had in mind. One of these guys had attended a "chitlin' strut" the previous year, which was basically an outdoor festival involving food and drink, with some other activities. The hunter wanted to start his own competing "strut" and needed investors. "You fellas in or what?" he asked as he slammed back another drink.

"I appreciate the offer, and we'll be happy to attend, but I don't think I can invest in anything at this point," I said, trying to stand up straight. "If I had that kind of money, I wouldn't be out here on a Saturday trying to sell insurance on the side of the road."

The hunter's face turned red with anger. "Do you think I'm trying to rip you off? Hell, I let you drink half of my liquor!" he screamed. Actually I had considered it was a scam, but I wasn't about to say so. "Get the hell out of here before I pretend you're a deer," he said as he walked to the back of his truck where the guns were. 

Frank and I teetered back to his car and sped off knowing that drunken hunters were not our target market. Somehow, we did manage to sell a couple of policies that morning, but that was the last time I stopped on the side of the road to make a sale.

Chris Castanes is a professional speaker who helps sales people succeed through workshops and humorous presentations. He's also the author of "You're Going To Be Great At This!", a humorous look at sales. For booking information, click here. He's also the president of Surf Financial Brokers selling life and disability insurance in several states.

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